Fears.

     As my DCP adventure draws near, I feel more and more different emotions. I am finding myself  more and more afraid as I think of the coming month or so. Can I really afford this? Am I being selfish doing this when my family is going through the worst financial times we have ever gone through? What can I bring with me? What if I can't fit everything I need into two 50 pound bags? What if I forget something important? Endless worries and questions flood my mind and I don't know how to handle them

   I feel like I am being so selfish. Yes I paid all of my fee's with my loan money, so I'm not hurting my parents financially that way. But I only have so much loan money, and I know my parents are going to want to give me money. I already feel like I owe them so much. and like I said this is such a hard time on our family financially. We lost our house my senior year of high school and right now is worse than that. 

   I'm just freaking out. and the fact that I am in the middle of finals does not help one bit. And neither do the assholes on the floor bellow me making as much noise as they possibly can. It's 1 am really they can't just settle down a little. If I wasn't such a coward/wasn't worried that I would kill some one, I would march down there and make them shut up. This has been happening at 1-2 am all semester, and I have put up with it. But this is finals week for gods sake. honestly I want to punch them all in the face. Ugh I swear.